Journey To Uganda..."We're Here!"

Charlotte to Washington to Dubai to Entebbe-

    We are finally here 51 hours after we left our homes on Wednesday am. It might sound long but we were given a true blessing in the airport in Washington. Sarah and I had an 18 hour layover in Dubai. Because of our past experience with long layovers we expected to be propped up against a wall with all our luggage sleeping, with one eye open.  However, it was quite the contrary. 

A gentleman in the airport who was well versed with the Dubai airport informed us that there was a hotel IN the airport. I know it sounds hard to believe-but let’s just say our 18 hours included a hot shower a nice bed, dinner and breakfast included. We woke up this morning with our last flight to go and we were actually refreshed and in different clothes than we started with. It was an amazing opportunity to rest our bodies and minds. Thanks Peter Nolan!!

 As I contemplated what we would write tonight, I was really perplexed. What can I share that might make a difference to someone. We, of course were excited to see our friends at the airport and the rest of our day was spent Ugandan style....reconnecting  with friends and catching up on life. It takes us a while to get used to the relaxed state- that doesn’t mean everyone is lackadaisical. There are chickens to kill for dinner and fires to be started to cook on..... life is hard here but it isn’t lived alone. The Ugandan culture thrives on relationships formed with neighbors. 

 Every time the plane lands on this dry dusty soil, there is apart of me that feels totally at home. The dry land fills my thirsty soul and I can take a deep breath. In all the realities of living in a third world country, there is still a sense of peace among the chaos. As I think about how to explain to you why this peace comes over me, I am always taken back to my first trip here. Just recently I had to write about that trip and how it changed my life. I will share this with you. It is very personal for me but I have learned that when a life is put back together that many things can seep out of the brokenness. I pray it will touch someone and perhaps some can even identify......

  When I was asked recently to describe my conversion experience or how I knew I was saved I wondered to myself how much time or paper you have. I could answer the question with a standard “ I was exposed to church my whole life, involved in a youth program, etc.” and all that would be true. But, there is so much more than that..and it wasn’t until the last three years that I began my journey of walking out my faith, understanding the freedom that is offered to me by Jesus and for once learning to rest in the idea that I don’t have to work for my relationship with God. 

   In 2009 our only child, Joshua, was in his last year of college and my late 40’s were flying by. I had struggles with fear and I was determined to once and for all answer the yearnings, questions and unsettled feelings that I had carried around with me most of my life. One of the first things I did was agree to travel to Africa with a non profit. I had been warned that the enemy would begin his attack on me as soon as I said yes. And so it began....I  have described that as a period of gutting for me and many things were brought to the surface that I had to deal with. I landed on the soil in Uganda feeling like I was a different person. Little did I know this trip would forever change my life and give a whole new meaning to trusting God.

   It was in an orphanage in Uganda that I met Edith. I returned home on Dec. 15th and laid in a fetal position for 3 days. I knew that God was asking me to adopt Edith and somehow I had to convince my husband. I just knew for sure that Steve would say no and that would take care of it and I could move on with the life that I was living. Empty nest, free to do and go, totally self absorbed.

     He didn’t say no....apparently God was talking to him too.

We stepped out in complete obedience and started the adoption process in January 2010 and Edith (age 4 ) and her biological brother Derrick (age 2) were home with us in June 2010. The life that I knew had ended.

    It was through Edith that my life would begin to unfold. To be totally honest I was having a very hard time loving her. I couldn’t put my finger on it. I was finding it easy to love Derrick but I just couldn’t seem to have the same feelings for her. It was through this struggle that I realized that what she needed from me I hadn’t received as a child. Once I was able to name the “deficit” then I had to come to terms with how to deal with it. You can’t give what you don’t have......I understood very clearly that attitude wouldn’t provide Edith with the mothering that she needed and deserved. God had finally brought me to the cross-I would either lay it down or I wouldn’t. 

  Several months of counseling and healing opened me up to freedom I can’t explain. I had spent my life working for everything that I had, including my relationship with Christ. Guilt, remorse and self condemnation had followed me closely. I was enlightened to the truth that those voices were not my own but rather of the enemy. All those years of hearing them and now having the freedom to call them what they really were was a very important step for me in my faith. I was being awakened to the truths of God’s love for me-the unconditional love that pursued me when I wasn’t even asking. The unconditional love that provided people in every hard place that I had been to love and minister to me. The unconditional love that had already forgiven me, in advance, for the things I couldn’t forgive myself for. It has been exciting but scary. With every struggle that I have had to name has been a truth from God to go with it. 

   God used my daughter, Edith, to teach me things about Him that I never knew. I have realized that even though we are from different continents, have different skin color and different childhood stories we share the same struggles. But we also share the same Amazing Father and with him and through him we will be healed. 

    I chose to lay it down......and my real journey with God began!

....And who knew but that you have come to a royal position for such a time as this...

 Esther 4:14b     

Blessings-

Debbie Shough