"Never Have I Ever"

March 19, 2013

I remember playing the game “Never Have I Ever” in middle school and high school with my girlfriends (sans the alcohol) to get to know one another. Everyone starts with all ten fingers up, and the first person in the group says a simple statement starting with "Never have I ever".  Anyone who has done what the first player has not, puts a finger down. The next person makes a statement, and so on and so forth. The first person with no fingers remaining wins.  If I were to play with a group of native Ugandans, I’m pretty much guaranteed to lose.  

Never have I ever…

• Worried the government might invade my home and kill me and my family
• Experienced the death of a family member due to HIV/AIDS
• Been kidnapped to be offered up as a sacrifice
• As a pedestrian, been within inches of being hit by and oncoming vehicle
• Been placed in an orphanage
• Suffered from Malaria
• Seen a dead body lying on the side of the road on my way to school/work
• Been forced into prostitution as the only way to support my family
• Wondered where my next meal would come from

Sadly, the majority of the people I encountered in Uganda would put a finger down for at least one of those statements. After a week in Uganda, I am much more aware of how, by God’s grace, I am able to say “Never Have I Ever.”  But I wonder, have I truly been changed?  How long will it take before I slip right back into the complacency of a cushy life?  Sure, right now I’m acutely aware that I’m not truly hungry just because its 10am and I’m used to a mid-morning snack.  I’m sensitive to the high-quality healthcare we receive in the US, and I’m mindful that even the least-desirable orphanages in the US pale in comparison to the devastating environments some of the children in Uganda face.  At what point will my experiences that are vividly in the forefront of my mind become hazy memories of the past?  I know it can happen, but I pray that it won’t.  

I think the one key to being forever changed is to continually re-live the “culture shock” we experience. For me, it means prayerfully asking God to break my heart for a people that need Him. It means surrounding myself with individuals who are broken for the same people and things as me, and it means leaving my comfort zone in pursuit of the Holy Spirit.  In the end, that might mean I have to put a finger down in a nasty game of “Never Have I Ever,” but who ever said the life of a Christ-follower wouldn’t be messy?

Bethany Reavis

Misc Pictures

Abbey's Boys

Whitney and his mom Sharon

Jack's Everyday Scowl

God's Busting Moves-Left and Right

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

It’s getting late and I find myself resisting bedtime.  It seems this is the case every time I come to Uganda...the end of our last full day...the night before we leave to begin our journey home.

This morning I began my day with a prayer, asking God to really show himself on this, our final day in Uganda...and boy did He “bust a few moves”!

One of the things we needed to accomplish this week was to meet with a contractor. Due to the winds coming off of Lake Victoria, there are a few repairs needed at the church.  We met with the contractor yesterday and we were given the quote today.  We were able to pay for the first of three areas of work, which will complete a 2 room house on the property.  

There is a man named Muhammed who moved to Bweya Village to specifically begin a children’s ministry at the church.  He has an amazing testimony that would blow your minds.  He was a Muslim and is now a converted, “born again” Christian.  Muhammed has demonstrated tremendous dedication to Bweya Community Church by leaving Gaba, his friends, etc...to come to Bweya to serve AND receives NO pay!  Pastor Robert had been using some of the stipend ekissa has regularly been sending him, in order to pay rent for Muhammed to remain in Bweya.  It is vital to the ministry of Bweya Community Church to have a leader remain there in the village full time.  This full time presence provides stability as well as an opportunity for community development/ building relationships, and building trust with the new friendships.  It’s an opportunity for daily ministry to happen. 

As many of you know, we have been in the process of building a pig farm (piggery).  We’ve been praying for someone to step forward in the church to take the daily responsibility of caring for these pigs.  Well, God has answered that prayer!  Muhammed approached me about the fact that he is in need of finding new housing.  The house he’s renting is in extremely poor condition with the “bathroom facility” ready to collapse to the ground.  He also is in need of some regular income...

Jack, in all his discernment, suggested we offer to move Muhammed to the small, 2 room house on the property and pay him a fair wage to be the property security as well as the one to care for the piggery.  We are praising God, as Muhammed has accepted this offer!

Today was a long day for Debbie, Bethany, Muhammed and Mary Lee as they were able to take “baby Whitney” and his 20 year old mother, Sharon, to see the specialist today, while the rest of the team met with the contractor for the church.  

The baby had no intestinal blockage and it was determined that the child’s struggles were all due to severe malnutrition.  The mom informed Mary Lee  she hated her current method of employment (prostitution) and wanted a better way of life. She is a single mother as her husband was killed in an accident prior to Whitney being born.  

Our prayer has been that somehow we could get Sharon, the mother, to leave the prostitution behind...yet we recognize her desperation to simply provide for her family. So, it was a relief when she said she hated it and didn’t desire to continue! In order to alleviate some of her financial burden, we offered her an opportunity to be Muhammed’s assistant in providing daily maintenance at the piggery.  Again, we are praising God as she accepted this position 

For the next couple of weeks Sharon must spent her time with Whitney, caring for him and feeding him every 2 hours.  So this will be her focus for now. However, as Whitney’s health begins to improve, Sharon will be able to take on more responsibility with respects to the piggery.  

So, the blessings of the day have been:

• God answered our prayers in providing a caregiver for the pigs 
• God answered Muhammed’s prayer for a safe place to live such that he will move in the next 2 weeks
• God answered our prayers with someone to provide security for our land
• God answered our prayers for someone to care for the piggery
• God provided an amazing contractor to evaluate our repair needs at the church

Another amazing blessing is that everyone was gracious in their gifts for Abbey before we left the US; so much such that he is able to have the much needed surgery to remove the metal rod in his leg, which was the result of a terrible taxi accident about 9 months ago.  Due to the accident, Abbey lost his job during the recovery period. I don’t know how he has done it until now, but despite all of the opposition he’s encountered. He remains strong and dedicated to the 10 orphaned boys he’s taken in.

I must also recognize the blessing that God has given ekissa through the relationships we have with ‘Landowner Robert” and his son Mark.  Mark is the individual who has been responsible for building the piggery.  He has selflessly given his time and talents while working his father’s farm and attending a local university...all, accepting no compensation but doing it for “the glory of God!”.  We are grateful for the leadership he provides at Bweya Community Church.

Added to this list of relationships is also Bob and Mary Lee Bolitho.  It seems God is not only blessing their ministry but they bless ours every time we are incountry as well as they assist us in the ministry at Bweya after we return to the US!  We couldn’t be as effective without them!

.....It is now Thursday afternoon and we packing for the airport. We intended to write some more but here in Uganda we have learned to be flexible every day in every situation. We will finish details when we safely land in North Carolina. Please pray for safe travel. 

Baby Whitney

It’s Wednesday March 13 and we’ve not posted on the blog in a couple of days.  We’ve had electricity but honestly have been too tired to write at night.  I, personally, have been heavy-hearted over a baby named, Whitney.  Little Whitney is 18 months old & weighs only 11 pounds!  

We first met Whitney on Sunday at Bweya Community Church.  After much worship through music, the children are led to the canopy of a mango tree, for children’s worship.  There are two individuals, Muhammed and Jacob, who have taken the leadership of establishing a children’s ministry.  Part of this children’s ministry involves providing a meal of porridge; a milky substance similar to our oatmeal, but much more watery. The porridge has very little nutritional value and looks like gray water.

Muhammed wanted us to meet Whitney and he shared that the parents of this child do not attend the church.  However, his 6 year old cousin brings him every Sunday in order to receive food. No one knows who Whitney’s father is, but the mother is a local prostitute, who often leaves Whitney for days at a time, alone, with nothing to eat.  Whitney is a defenseless soul, enduring the ramifications of this sinful world.  He’s taking on pain and suffering, yet deserving of nothing but love.

As we removed Whitney’s clothing to get a better understanding of just how undernourished he was, I was immediately sickened at the gross neglect my eyes were seeing.  I’ve traveled to Uganda many times throughout the last 4 years.  One trip included traveling to the north to feed an area where 5,000 women and children are on the brink of starvation. But as I see the skin barely clinging to the skeleton of this child, I was again pierced by the tremendous injustices of this world.  Not only was I sickened, but I was angered to a degree in which I had not experienced in a long time.

I was left asking, “What is wrong with us?” God has provided enough resources throughout this world such that no child should NOT endure this level of suffering. We are a selfish people, rising to such levels of financial blessings, yet it is to the expense of others, such as Whitney? 

Many could immediately become incensed with his mom.  However, I believe she's doing the best that she's known how to do up to this point.  We greatly underestimate the level of education and "know how" of people in third world countries.  We forget that due to past regimes, there are children raising children as well as young adults who have been ushered into adulthood without parents.

Muhammed has interceded and talked with the mother.  She gave permission for us to provide Whitney a visit to a local doctor.  Whitney was taken to the doctor where he was treated for a respiratory infection and the obvious was stated....”severe malnutrition”.  

As we shared information and pictures of Whitney with MaryLee Bolitho (an american and close friend who serves as a missionary here in Uganda). Mary Lee expressed concerned of the potential of an intestinal blockage.  She commented that the body appears to be eating itself.  So, again, the mother has given permission for the baby to be seen by a physician...this time, a specialist. That appointment is today!

Please pray for Whitney, the physician as well as the team as we are all burdened by this situation.

Responsibly Irresponsible

One may say that deciding to join a team headed to Uganda 2 weeks before departure, is slightly irresponsible.  How could it seem responsible for one to decide to leave their 3 year old daughter, husband and job, at a moment’s notice?  Just a few weeks before taking this leap of faith, God began challenging me to do what Mark Batterson, author of Chase the Goose, deems living “responsibly irresponsible.” And in my opinion, my decision was just that!

We don’t serve a rational God, therefore He often calls us to do what could be judged as irrational or completely crazy!  Speaking of which, Jamie and I have felt the call to adopt. We’ve spent the last 18 months seeking God’s wisdom, and together, we decided that I should head to Uganda in search of clarity.

I can’t say I’ve received 100% clarity; however, I do feel God slowly revealing His will for this process. I came with no expectations of a “hallmark” experience of “love at first sight”.  For me, the fear of adopting is very real.  When a child’s early life experiences include mental, physical, emotional abuse and neglect, it has the potential to create significant life-long issues.  But when I consider how Christ adopts us in our most broken forms, who am I to consider doing any less?  

There’s certainly no shortage of children needing families in Uganda.  In fact, today I served at Loving Hearts Babies Home.  This facility is currently caring for 18 children, awaiting their “forever family”. This is a minuscule number in relation to over 150 million orphans world-wide.

While Jamie and I feel that, with Christ, we have the capacity to love any child, and while Loving Hearts does a great job caring for the children there, I didn’t feel our potential child was at this particular facility.

This journey may have initially felt the size of a giant redwood tree. However, the whittling process has begun.  I have no doubt this “redwood” will become a toothpick.

Bethany 

a.k.a. “Brittany” or “Bridget”

Living Water

Saturday, March 9, 2013

Reflections of the day, by Brook Hinman

As the day began with the wonderful sound of Debbie’s voice ringing in my ears, “Oh little boy Brook, time to get up”, I felt myself lying in bed fighting the day. How is it that even when I’m in a new place with a day awaiting me full of new experiences and the opportunities, I still find myself giving in to the selfish desires of ME. Here I am in a wonderful place and I still feel like sleeping in and taking care of me. Luckily, Debbie is persistent and I felt as if I heard “little boy Brook” one more time as a 25 year old man, I was going to have to get back on a plane that same day! I love you Debbie

After a quick breakfast and a short waiting period for our driver to show up, we packed into our awesome Toyota AWD diesel van (America take note) and made our way to our friend Abbey’s house to pick up Abbey, Michael, Usher and Eddie. We then proceeded to the home of Eddie, Usher, Edith and Derrick’s mother, a woman by the name of Hadija. Abbey, Debbie and Sarah spent time connecting with Hadija while Jack and I talked with the older children gathered there and watched Michael playing with the younger ones. Bethany spent the majority of her time holding Linda, the younger sister to Hadija’s four boys. Watching Bethany interact with Linda was a very cool act to witness, I will certainly be praying that God moves in her life to bring her the right child for adoption because you can tell her heart is ready. We concluded our time at Hadisha’s with an amazing time of prayer led by Abbey in the local Lugandan language. Even though I could not physically understand the words, my heart could feel the sincerity and I was able to just let my heart connect with his and offer up a prayer to our same, One true God, praying for the boys and their mother. It was an awesome experience for me and one I’ll keep in the old memory bank for quite sometime.

We spent the afternoon driving out into the bush to look at 20 acres that our friends Bob and Mary Lee Bolitho are eyeing for their expansion in Uganda. This was a eye opener for me and the highlight of the day. As most of you might not know, I spent the majority of 2011 fundraising for clean, deep water wells to be drilled in Africa. I had never been to Africa before but God spoke into my heart about the clean water crisis and I was hooked like a trout rising to a perfectly thrown fly on a still rivers waters. After our fundraising project was completed, I knew that I would be needing a trip to Africa to see first hand the plight so many people face. So there I am, in the middle of my trip to Africa, when I start seeing these young faces on the side of the road standing in puddles collecting water into their yellow jerry cans. This was the picture I had locked in my head all 3,300 miles I walked across the U.S., the reason why God spoke into my heart and I froze. I didn’t know how to comprehend what I was seeing. We drove on and continued to see more jerry cans, more children, a few wells and a few more puddles. We made our way to Bweya church and met some of the key people involved in operations there but those little faces I saw never left my mind.

I believed in the water crisis and knew it to be true even before i stepped foot into Africa but now it’s forever personally entrenched in who I am. God changes lives, He has changed mine and I am forever humbled that the God of the world would call me his own. I believe that I will continue to be changed while I’m here for the next few days and I pray that all God reveals to me will continue to mature me in the Word of the Lord, that my time here will enable me to continue fighting the good fight.

In all that we do, do it unto Him who gives you the breath of life and speaks life into your heart, until it overflows with The living water.

In Love Brook Hinman

Brook aka Little Boy Brook

Sarah and Usher

Bethany and Linda

Usher and Linda

Hadija

Bethany and Linda

Friday

Usher so happy to have his shoes!

His boys shoes, brought more excitement to Abbey than his own. 

Thanks so much to Fleet Feet of Winston Salem, NC for their
generous shoe donation.

Our first full day on the ground was nice and relaxing.  We spent the day visiting old friends and sharing the gift of shoes with the smiling faces in the above pictures.  Abbey was one of the first individuals I met when traveling to Bweya in 2009. He is a teacher and a caregiver of these boys who were orphaned with no place to go.  ekissa is incredibly thankful for individuals like Abbey,  who accept the Biblical mandate of caring for orphans.  I also what to thank Keith and Emily Davis of Fleet Feet of Winston Salem, for donating the shoes for these kids.

The team was also blessed in being able to assist this "family" with much needed clothes and medical supplies, thanks to the financial donations from many friends of ekissa.  Can you imagine the budget it takes to feed and clothe this house of growing boys! 

Debbie had the opportunity today to spend some time with Eddie and Usher, biological brothers of Edith and Derrick.  The following was her experience:

 I am always a little nervous when I first get to see Eddie and Usher. There's still a part of me that wonders if they'll remember me---have they grown hardened to the fact that they remain in Africa, while their siblings are "living the good life in the US?" Are their days so hard that my mere visit will fail to impact them? All those thoughts vanish when I see their smiling faces. 

In my heart, these 2 boys are my sons as well.  I look at them and see the same smiles on their face as Edith and Derrick.

  

At Abbey's home, six boys share a room filled with bunk beds.   Under each bed there's a box which contains each boys belongings.  Usher and Eddie were both so proud to show me their belongings. There was one item that took me completely by surprise. 

Eddie, age 8, had a very dirty, well worn stuffed kitten on his bed. I asked him where it came from. It was a kitten that was given to Edith when she and Derrick went to live with Abbey (while we were going through the adoption process) He has been sleeping with it since Edith came to the US. 

I was immediately overwhelmed with emotion. My first realization was that I was looking at something that belonged to my daughter before I knew her. My second emotion was utter grief, as I looked at the small trinket this young boy had held onto, as a way to retain the memory of his sister. 

This realization cemented my commitment to Eddie and Usher  as I recognized their tremendous void.  There is a day coming, when a great reunion of siblings will be experienced. These four children remain family. While they may age on different continents, they will recognize themselves in the eyes of their siblings. 

Thursday, March 7, 2013

We’ve been traveling for 28 hours and are currently sitting in Rwanda awaiting 

 our last flight to reach Uganda. It’s 8:48pm ,Thursday, March 7th. We’ve traveled with 

great ease aside from the long hours. There’ve been minimal delays and the weather 

has cooperated. While in route from Brussels to Entebbe, Sarah and I began chatting 

with a Ugandan gentleman, “Walter”, who sat in the adjacent row of the plane.  

Following several  minutes of conversation, we learned Walter was from Bweya Village

and the nephew to Landowner Robert (The family we bought the land from). We were 

all speechless. This world continues to shrink!  What a blessing it was to meet Walter, 

as well as incredible confirmation for ekissa to be working in Bweya village . 

 Our travel group consists of Jack, Sarah, Debbie, Brook and Bethany. Brook and 

Bethany are visiting Uganda for the first time!  This is also Brook’s first mission trip. 

We only lost Brook three times in the Newark airport while he was meandering around 

looking for the “dollar store” to buy some headphones. He found the headphones but 

rest assured they were not a dollar. We forgot to pack a toddler leash......He is a fun 

guy!  

Once landing in Uganda, we will be headed to the Ggaba house to crash for a few 

hours of sleep.